Pushing Them Away
by Kitten-lover136
Summary: (Literally, I have no idea what to name this story...- -') "Look, here's that stupid girl" "Don't touch me!" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "My room…. Under bed…. Blue… Diary…." "She's dead…." This story is about a girl, who lost everything…. Just to protect her friends, and her lover….


**WOOOHOOO! MY NEW IKARISHIPPING STORY! AHEM, enough with the caps lock, and shall we read?**

**Heartbreak**

**Summary:**

_"Look, here's that stupid girl" "Don't touch me!" "What the hell is wrong with you!?" "My room…. Under bed…. Blue… Diary…." "She's dead…." This story is about a girl, who lost everything…. Just to protect her friends, and her lover…._

* * *

"I'm sorry… But she's dead….. Although, Paul, she did say something in her last breathe… 'My room. Under bed. Blue Diary" Johanna, Dawn's mother, told Paul, Dawn's crush. She was crying. Her only daughter, dead

Paul's eyes widened.

He got up and ran towards Dawn's bedroom. He looked under the bed, and saw a blue diary. He sat on the bed, and begun to read what was written in it.

oOo

_Hey. I don't know who found this book, but I sure hope it's you Paul. And the only way you found about this diary is because I'm probably dead by now._

_In this diary, I've written why I pushed you all away. And the reason, of why I died_

_Ever since I was young, I had cancer. That time, Paul, I had no idea what cancer even was. _

_It was so painful. I had to push everyone away from me. It begin to get better, and better, but it didn't stop the pain. I hope you would be nice enough to read my entire story, Paul…._

_oOo_

_The moment I realized that the disease I had was so dangerous, I just had to push people away from me. That started when I accidently yelled at May to stay away from me, hurting her. I was so guilty, but I had to do it, so I told her to just stay away from me. She faked a smile at me, and walked away._

_I was sad, heartbroken, because I couldn't enjoy my life anymore. My mom lost her job when my condition got worse, and soon we got poor. I stayed away from the group, and away from you. I quit my teams, and stayed away from people. I tried my best to sound perfect, happy and healthy, but inside, it was so damn painful. _

_Every day, I coughed up blood, and fainted ever so often. And that's why I had to take days off. I knew it myself, that I couldn't stay at school any longer, but I denied. I wanted to stay there, and watch you all laugh. I was happy every time you looked at me, even though your glares were filled with hate._

_It was that time when I first started fainting and coughing up blood. _

_I stumbled school, feeling weak, but I didn't give in._

_People looked at me with disgust_

"_Look, here's that stupid girl!" they would say_

_You would come up to me, and sit beside me, hoping I would talk to you, or that's what I thought._

_Every time you sat closer, I would back off._

_It was then when you lost your cool and grabbed me by the arm. _

_I was scared. I didn't want you to suffer like I did, so I pulled my hand away from you._

"_Don't touch me!" I yelled at you. But you got furious at me, looking at me with hateful eyes. _

"_What the hell is wrong with you!?" you would yell at me. _

_I would flinch, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to tell you why I was keeping you all far away from me._

_But I couldn't, because I was a selfish bitch. _

"_Nothing is wrong with me!" I would yell back at you_

_You would glare at me. Whenever you did that, I wanted to cry. You were so terrifying, Paul. So terrifying._

"_Stay away from her, Paul" That was when Gary would come in and glare at me, and taking you away._

_Even though we looked at each other for even a minutes, I was happy._

_But when you were gone, I fell to my knees and coughed. Blood came out with it, and before I knew it, I fainted._

_After that, it got worse._

_I would skip school more often, and was known as 'Dawn, the school's loser'_

_My mom worried a lot about me. She told me it wouldn't be okay if I went to school, but I wanted to see you guys, so I had to go._

_The other day, May, Leaf and Misty came up to me to talk to me_

"_Dawn!" May called. I stopped what I was doing, and looked at her._

_They gave me cold glares_

"_Why are you acting this was?" Misty asked_

"_What way?" I asked, my eyes filled with pain. I felt pain in my chest, but I ignored it_

"_Don't play dumb with us! Why are you pushing us away!?" Leaf yelled_

"_I'm not…." I replied softly, my voice filled with pain, but that went unnoticed_

_Before I knew it, Leaf had slapped me._

_My eyes widened, as I touched my stinging cheek_

_I looked at them, shocked_

_They gave me cold glares again_

"_You deserve it, bitch" May spat, and they walked away, leaving me in pain_

_I ran out of the school. I didn't notice, but when I woke up, I was in my room. _

_I looked at my sides, and notice blood on my pillow._

_I tried to move, but I couldn't._

_I was over_

_I was shaking_

_I couldn't breath_

_My mom walked in, and looked at me with a horrifying expression. _

_I smiled at her, and told her I was fine. I told her I needed rest._

_Paul that was the time I wrote this letter._

_There's more. If you don't want to read it, then it's fine. But please, don't hate me._

oOo

Paul's hands shook with fear. Dawn was in pain. She had Cancer. That's why she pushed them all away.

Tears escaped his eyes, and fell on the paper.

He turned the page, but it was blank. So were the other pages.

Then Paul remember. Johanna gave him a page, and he forgot about it. He opened it, and read:

oOo

_So you got the letter I wrote in the hospital? _

_Paul, in this letter, I've written all I feel about you._

_Paul, you were the only one I cared that much_

_When I first looked at you, I knew you were something special_

_Paul, your smirk, you chuckle, your everything, set my heart on fire_

_Paul, when you didn't remember my name. it was funny. I would yell at you for calling me Troublesome. But I was happy. _

_Happy that you cared for me_

_It hurt me to push you away, Paul_

_It hurt much more than because of my illness_

_I was happy when you got angry when I said to stay away from me. _

_I knew you were hurt, Paul. But I had to do it._

_I didn't want you get that disease._

_Yes, Paul, it would have been cured, but mom didn't have any money._

_Tell May, Drew, Leaf, Gary, Misty and Ash I'm sorry._

_Tell mom I lied. I wasn't fine_

_Tell them all I loved them_

_Tell them it hurt me, to hurt them_

_Tell mom to not to worry. _

_And Paul, I would finish it up with….._

_Paul, I… Love you…_

_I love so much._

_Please, find a girl. Love her, and cherish her. Make her happy_

_Never let her feel pain again._

_I love you Paul. More than… Anything._

oOo

Paul was in tears when the letter ended.

"Dawn… I… Love you, too" He whispered, before more tears escaped his Onyx eyes

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**Sooo, how was it? Good, Bad, normal? Please tell me in your reviews!**

**~Kitten-lover136**


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